Looking At Things The Real Way

I hate what my girlfriend is turning into. See, we’re not actually still together but living in an apartment with each other and she’s acting (for my sake) like we’re together to make me happier so it’s  not as hard on me. To some this may not seem fair as it’s benefiting me and not her but the hell she’s put me through I just don’t care if it’s fair or not. I’m happy with it. She agreed to do it so it must not seem to bother her. Well, now she is just blowing my mind at the things she’s doing and allowing to happen to herself. Nothing like drugs but sometimes I wish that were the case instead. I just wish I knew what to do and could help her but the truth is she has to want the help and go for it herself. I’m not trying to put my girlfriend down by writing back about her I’m just trying to write to get things off my chest and help me feel better. After all it is my blog and I’m not calling her any names or anything like that. Simply just feeling very hurt at the choices she’s making. I truly hope and pray that the next 10 months will be good to me and that I can hopefully get her to help herself and deal with some of what she is doing and realize how wrong it is and get her to make her life happier.

I don’t know what I would have to do in order to make that happen but I’m almost willing to try anything. I would never hit her or leave a mark on her no matter what. I’m just not that kind of guy. In fact it takes a lot for me to really grow a pair and tell her how it is half the time. I’m just one of those rare nice guys who gets involved with girls like this and gets hurt and they couldn’t give a shit. Okay so I’m looking at things a bit negatively but I’m also a very negative person trying to be positive. It’s not like I want to be hurting I just can’t always find the happyness and show it. When this sorta things happens I normally just quit functioning altogether.

Could say more but I’m going to stop here and leave with the comment that I have heard from people and I truly believe in. I think our society is going to Hell. I believe this generation is going no where fast and is destroying itself. It seems that people my age (I’m 21 now) have no respect for themselves or anyone else and they are care free to do whatever they want in order to get whatever they want with no regard for anyone else. Hurt that person over there to get what I want, sure. Make that person believe I care about them and then take what I can and run without giving a shit, sure. It’s not right and it needs to stop! I can’t do it alone and neither can anyone else. If we all come together and make a stand I’ll bet we can though. That is, unless I’m one of just a few who believe this is really happening which I know it is because I see it happening every day and all the time. Wake up people!!!

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